Revision Four

Kennebunkport Dreaming

On Walker Point, the Bush’s summer home
prevails, palatial. Travelers will stop
their Civics, Focuses, or Golfs to roam
the ocean path and gawk. Their jaws will drop,
confronted by their democratic need
to scope out sure locations. There she blows!
Americans may love the pedigreed—
although its well-off points of view oppose
their own self-interest—if allowed to dream
that someday they may run their Walker Point,
Hyannisport, or at the least, some scheme
that yields enough resources to anoint
their children with that oil of destiny.
Meanwhile they’ll opt to sight the holy see.

copyright Gregory Perry 2004

I posted the first draft of this poem last week. Since then I've made some revisions to it in attempt to remove filler, improve readability, and add some associative flavor. For example, I replaced 'is quite' with 'prevails' in L2 to both tighten and flavor the line. The L6 replacement of 'sure' for 'right' just plays a lttle more. The last line is one I'm having most difficulty with. Right now I'm playing with maybe too many sight gags. It's in review. It's not my wish to bore you with another revision of a slight poem already previewed on these pages, but I did think it might be a good idea to exhibit my process of revision in my blog. It's the little secret of poetry that is seldom seen but in workshops and there it's sometimes seen too little.