Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Poet Wars: Episode 2: Attack of the Jedi Critters

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, a Padawan Poet drove his starship to the deep end of the universe to train with the Formalistas, an alien life form of poets living on the planet Virtual, trained in the Jedi Poetic Arts, and dedicated to the preservation of the past at the expense of everything modern or appealing. There he encountered the Great EfH Lord, the famed Jedi Editor, who lifted his hellishly famous laser wit to destroy every stroke of the pen the Padawan offered: “Grammatical sense at all you have none, and that of a time-traveler your verb usage is, at all points of occasion accustomed to being one who is at the same moment.” The Padawan struggled much with such rhetorical arts and although he soon became more comfortable with that formal concept of time, he knew he would never be able to survive in such an antediluvian world and still hold on to his own inner logic. He grew restless with the other lesser editors, and so he jumped into his star cruiser and boldly warp-sped where no man has gone before. Oh, wait, wrong story. And so he jumped into his star cruiser and hyper-drove to do battle in the Third Conflict of the Great Subconscious.

(to be continued)

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