Who writes this foolishness now? Oh, it tries at the finish to come up with something original with heart and eyes, but ends with something “golden as a shout.” Give me an effing break.
Brackets Make a Racket by Maurya Simon
It’s a good trick. That wears out its welcome after awhile. But it does play out nicely. And despite the appearance of some typical effete posturing in the last line, I’m OK with it.
3 comments:
Overall, I find your critiques fascinating. But you are so wrong concerning "Schemes." It is a poem full of contradiction, beauty being "not tasteful" (to people) yet irresistible to the sparrow. The poem, like the forsythia the poet describes,is both undeveloped ("raw") and valuable ("golden"). And "raw and golden as a shout" is hardly cliché; that would be “a diamond in the rough.”
Helen I’m glad you understand (for plants) this poem so well. However I am with Grapez here, “golden as a shout” makes me want to vomit (on the sparrow).
Helen, this poem, in my opinion, almost salvaged something in the last couple of lines, but I couldn't say it any better than Jim. That ending just made me physically sick. So to speak. Although I tried to avoid the innocent sparrow.
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