Groucho Marx via Woody Allen via Poem

An Old Joke Updated

Ego walks into a bar and says to Id
the barkeep, give my Superego here
a drink, the strongest liquor that you've got.

And what about yourself, you want the same?

I wish. He never lets me have a sip;
he says it's evil, bad, and worse than that,
I'll learn to pour myself my very own.

Sounds good to me, I'll even let you pour
me three, says Id while giving Superego
something strong and straight and poured out double.

We'll both be sitting pretty once he's had
a few, my barkeep friend. He'll soon be thinking
he's a god and give us any drink we want.

Why's that, the barkeep, now confounded, asked.

A god without his worshippers is bad
enough when you're a god. But if you're just
a thought in someone's wounded psyche, then
you're absolutely nothing, good as dead.

So why not leave him on his own and then
be free of him with liberty forever?

What, you're crazy man, I need the drinks!

~Greg Perry 2007