Breaking (Ball) News

A unnamed source has told the Sporting News that The Curse of the Bambino has finally and remarkably been reversed. In a Machiavellian ploy worthy of the New York Yankees themselves, Red Sox management has delivered a Trojan Horse to their only rival for utter hopelessness, the Chicago Cubs. It appears that in that supposed stallion, otherwise known as Nomar Garciaparra, their former franchise player, the Boston team seemingly traded away their future but instead rid themselves of a weight that has hung from the Green Monster for eighty-six years: relying on a single player to carry them to the World Championship. Since that blockbuster trade a team has emerged, playing baseball with twenty-five players and winning games with confidence and skill. If you haven’t been on the bandwagon, climb on board. This train is headed for some glory, man. Go Sox!