Saturday, February 04, 2006

The Daily Poetry Show: Eclipsing the Future

The Perfect Future by Damian Fallon
I love a good metaphysical poem, and this one would have won me at the beginning if it weren’t for the cute ‘kiddies’ and all. I think I know what Fallon is attempting, but there must be better and smarter ways to do so. But after that first unfortunate stanza, things get real interesting. Even some of the enjambments are instructive. Technically, the slant rhyme works nicely. But if there’s a meter I can’t find it. The language is plain but the thought is intricate. And the ending is superb. This was almost my first four snap poem. But that gawky first stanza made the last snap fall somewhat short.

My Three Eclipses by Martha Hollander
I find myself unable to choose one. First, these are prose poems chopped into lines. Second, this is poetry trying too hard to be poetry, quietly pretentious. Third, but the rhythm is nice (as is a line or three).

Note: No No-Tell Motel on weekends.

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