ParadiseSorry to end it so abrupt. Last night I thought it was finished, but this morning I realize the last 3.5 lines were very wrong. For anyone interested that first revision is here. Sometimes the most graceful movement in writing a poem is pressing the backspace key.
Roots have been exposed along the trail.
Persistent hiking boots have worn away
the earth around them. They look the way I feel—
even the spruce trees have turned completely gray.
I see a snake!. At first I think it’s just
another tendril loose from all that wear.
But then I see its tongue. In woods we trust
but everything is soon in disrepair
except this snake. It slides with certain grace
reminding me that movement is itself
a blessing.
THERE AND GONE ….
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Here is an autumn hokku kindly shared by a reader in Japan: In a moment,It
no longer is —The rainbow. When we look at English poetry, it is common to
ask t...
4 weeks ago
2 comments:
The second-to-last sentence is the best: "In woods we trust..." The ending word to the whole poem, tho, forces me back--intentionally?--to James Wright's "A Blessing."
Geof
I do like that sentence myself. As for intentional. No. But I am leaning on ending the poem there. It's certainly unconventional form-wise. But I think the inherent meaning makes it work.
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